4 Signs of Parents Too Hard on Children

Parents often face a dilemma when caring for children. For example between implementing regulations with strict sanctions or giving space for children to argue. Did you experience it too? Come on, check again whether Mother's parenting pattern is suitable for children. There are always times when children don't do things the way parents want them to. For example, do not want to spend food, do not want to go to school, or do not want to do homework. If this happens frequently, should it be strict by punishing it?

Check Parenting

Disciplining children is important, but there still need to be rules and limits. If you often wonder if the parenting that you applied to your child is too harsh, the things below can help you answer it.

1. Only praise the child's best results

Does Mother only praise the Little One when her achievements are perfect? If you only give praise if you score 100 or when you score a goal in a soccer match, you can assume that you only love him when he succeeds. From now on, try to keep praising your child even if he fails or does not achieve the expected results, as long as he has tried well.

2. Only give orders

Parents who are too harsh on children tend to continue to give orders that must be done right away. Come, Mother, try to give freedom to the Little One. Mother can give a question sentence or choice that is equally good. For example, "Want to tidy up the room first or put dirty clothes in a bucket?"

3. Mother does not tolerate

Parents who are too harsh on children tend to not see the cause or reason when the child does not do what the parent wants. For example, Mother wants Little One to keep her clothes clean, but one time she fell while walking in a slippery yard and her clothes became dirty. Don't be angry just yet, just ask Little to be more careful when walking.

4. Too often nag and punish

Mother often nags or punishes children when they are negligent or slow in doing something? Apparently, too often nagging can actually make children not learn to be independent. He also did not learn to be responsible for his actions. Let's make it a habit of only reprimanding children for things that really matter. In addition, let the child face the natural consequences of neglect or laziness. For example, if a child does not want to learn, it means he will not understand the subject matter at school. Mother and Father need to be more careful because in addition to being less effective, parenting that is too hard or authoritarian like the examples above can actually have a bad impact on children.

Negative Effects on Children

Mother, discipline does not always mean punishment. Discipline is about instilling good values ​​in children. Whereas punishment is more of a control and compliance with coercion. Discipline that is too strict can actually corner children into being forced to lie in order to avoid punishment. In addition, high expectations from parents sometimes just make children become afraid of trying new things. Children can become too worried, insecure, behave aggressively or too shy around other people, difficult to socialize, and difficult to control themselves.

Better Authoritative Parenting

Instead of sticking with authoritarian parenting that tends to stress children, let's recognize authoritative or democratic parenting. If children of authoritarian parents tend to be more prone to depression and low self-esteem, children who are raised in authoritative parenting tend to be able to control themselves and be confident. The following are the characteristics of authoritative parenting:

• Encourage children to express opinions and discuss choices.
• Adjust expectations according to the child's condition and situation.
• Accept and listen to children's arguments, even if they don't always agree.
• Give a sentence that is accompanied by an explanation and persuasion.
• Believe that although children need to follow orders, they must also be respected and have their own needs.
• Believe that parents have the power and will for children, but also must be wise.

So, which parenting do you prefer? Come on, keep on reflection and self-correction, and get to know the character of the Little One, so that Mother's goal to instill good value in herself can be realized.